Men's Health Magazine has published the six personality types that you should not hire, but in our line of work, as attorneys, I can suggest to you that you should avoid, as much as possible, these types. Whether working with them or against them, these people are problems.
1. The Loafer. Oh man do we run into these types. Always late. Always missing deadlines. Cannot get back to you on time. Their work product is skimpy at best.
2. The Weasel. Sly. Untrustworthy. Ready to stab you in the back or bite you in the ass, whichever is easier. Doesn't show the true color of his or her underbelly until he or she established a small, comfortable power base for himself, a network of similarly untrustworthy types who despise the people they work for. How often do we see this in opposing counsel?
3. The Bridegroom. Idolizes and emulates you and wants to be your very special friend. Wants to be you. Hire this one and he or she is like crazy glue in your hair.
4. The Psycho Killer. Likes to refer to him or herself as a "trial lawyer". More focused on the destruction of your enemies than you are. And at first, you may not mind the psycho killer. His or her world is populated with adversaries who must be wiped from the face of the planet. Having this person around is exhausting, and when you grow weary of his or her crazy, violent style, he or she will quickly turn against you, his or her new betrayer.
5. The Replicant. This person is cold and capable. Has no heart. Has no family to speak of. Has no dog, no cat, no pet fish. Has no empathy. All MBA. This person works on weekends and wants to know why you do not. Follows orders perfectly, but all his ideas are mean-spirited and cost somebody, someplace, his or her livelihood. Can you say "Big Law".
6. The Future CEO. The big planner. Going to run the place one day. Has the story line all worked out, and you are one of the chapters. The had that rocks the cradle stuff. This type wants to move into your house, take your business, wear your shoes, shirts and suits.