Have I ever told you when I quit eating at Quiznos?
I use to appreciate the fact that Quiznos offered offered great tasting subs, salads and soups made from fresh ingredients. Now everybody is doing it, but I loved their toasted sandwiches. But, now when I see or hear of Quiznos, or when somebody suggest we go there for lunch, it feel like gagging. And no, I do not mean covering my mouth with duct tape (although that would not be a bad idea). I mean that wretch that comes before you puke.
It is all visual really - an image I cannot get out of head. It is the reason I hated the Pixar movie Ratatouille. I grew up in the country where you had to protect foodstuffs from mice and rats. It is nasty. It is disgusting. It is vile. It will make you ill. When I see the vermin around food, even when animated, it brings back that smell in your head. I do not care how cute it is made to believe. The Pixar movie is one thing, but a company that depends on an image of freshness and cleanliness like Quiznos is another matter.
It is something I just cannot get out of my head. Remember a few years back when Quiznos in order to get attention ran a series of TV commercials starring singing "Spongmonkeys". These were nasty little creatures that originated out of a cult following of a London artist. In isolation the Spongemonkeys might have been funny. But, they looked like gross, little, dirty, filthy, disease-carrying rats.
Well, the Spongmonkeys got a lot of attention. (See one of the of the TV spot above). But, the association of dirty little rats crawling all over Quiznos subs was a terrible, ugly strategy. Quiznos stores reported drops in traffic of up to 30%, it was reported that the commercial made small children cry and, as I said, it made me gag. What the hell were the people at Quiznos thinking? Why did they not just show workers spitting on their customer's sandwiches? At least it would have been cheaper to film that spot. And, for people like me, who well remember the spot, Quiznos is always dead to us. Quiznos single handily destroyed their own good brand.
Why did they do this?
They just got too cute for their own good. Quiznos was into getting attention. Positive intention? Negative attention? It obviously did not matter. Quiznos did what attorneys in particular are too use to doing. They fell in love with a tactic. They were looking for a marketing shortcut over continually trying to sell chef-inspired fresh food served in a clean and pleasant environment. They confused creating an impression with getting attention. They obviously did not think that the attention they receive should be relevant to their surroundings.
This is important for lawyers to learn. Sometimes marketing or advertising does not have to be overly exciting or memorable. Meeting, greeting, following up, informing and reminding those that matter what you do for a living as a lawyer are most important. But, you do not always need shenanigans.
Crazy Eddy use to get on TV, shake his jowls, and say, "I am selling TVs so cheap I must have b-r-a-i-n-n-n damage"! You had better not try that as an attorney. It would not go over quite the same. Kind of like Dr. Nick Riviera on the Simpsons, nobody wants a discount professional. That is a good example of how lawyers think a tactic is a good thing, but in reality you are destroying your personal brand.
And, do not think that the Bar will save you from your own bad instincts. As much as they would like, bar associations do not regulate good taste. Just because the Bar might have approved an ad, TV or radio spot, or a letter does not mean it is certified good or effective. That is a little bit like thinking you can afford an expensive home just because a mortgage broker got you approved you for the loan. Such thoughts are folly.
When I was in law school there was a personal injury attorney that ran an TV spot of a treasure chest turning with gold Krugerrands falling out of it while the announcer proclaimed in a slow, deep voice, "Personal injury could be the gold at the end of your rainbow". Everybody went ballistic, including the Bar. Misrepresentation? I do not know. Confusing a tactic with a positive impression? You bet that is what happened. The attorney? I have not heard of him sense.
When I practice law in Texarkana, one of the local attorneys managed to get himself thrown in the country jail by the judge for his inappropriate behavior. He used the opportunity to get attention by smuggling in a hot plate and pot and making spaghetti for the other prisoners. The TV crew and newspaper showed up. Was it humorous? You bet it was. The only problem was that it highlighted why the Judge felt like he had to throw lawyer in jail. It also sent the message that the lawyer did not take seriously his inappropriate behavior. Maybe some people think that is helpful, but I tend to think it does more harm than good. A client wants to hope you can get them out of jail, and not get thrown in there with them. Again, this is a problem with trying to get attention instead of worrying about what type of impression you are leaving with those that matter.
You have got to remember that generating attention is one thing, and generating relevant attention is another. You cannot win over clients just because you are known if you are known for the wrong things. I know who O. J. Simpson is, but I sure do not want to go to a hotel room to retrieve any personal items with him.
Promote yourself within the context that matters. If you are a personal injury lawyer you need to look professional enough and promote how you can help those injured. If you are a bankruptcy attorney you need people to know you in the context of how you can get people out of debt. If you are a real estate closing attorney, you need people to think you are attentive and thorough to a fault. Your image needs to be consistent with what you do. Be careful of tactics. Nothing but nothing beats good old fashion shoe leather and just meeting people in a competent, professional context as to what you do and what you can do for people and companies and agencies in need of your services.
DO NOT STRIVE TO BE A SPONGMONKEY.
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